It is easy to get sucked into the duality of taking sides and seeing enemies during these volatile times. Many forces are fanning the flames that will burn us all if we allow them to divide us.
Most of humanity is perpetuating the old emotional patterns, thoughts and behaviors that cannot but create more conflict and violence, and we must understand the psychological and emotional foundation of our individual and cultural dysfunction in order open the avenues of evolution. We all carry essentially the same patterns – though they may express themselves differently and are stronger for some while they are more subtle for others.
One of the greatest pitfalls of humanity is the belief that we are better than someone else. But the differences that seem to divide us are not the real issue. The moral decision that we are better then the other is made before getting to know them and evaluating facts. We have already made up our minds. We want to build ourselves up by tearing someone else down and belittling their integrity. We are the high judge in our own minds, a god who cannot be in error. They are no one to us, and we have already closed our hearts to their suffering and humanity.
We feel an elevation, a sense of triumph when we gossip and put down the one we wish to see below us. And we believe that while focusing on their flaws, we will never have to feel our own emotions, our own low self-esteem, and the numbness in our hearts. We project our own self-hatred and rejection as a temporary fix for our wounded ego.
For a brief moment the pain of feeling like we are nobody almost goes away. But blaming someone else never really works. It doesn’t stick. It stays with us and adds to our distress. While we use every justification possible, we know deep down that what we are doing is wrong, cunning, and harmful to us and the other. We do it anyway because it feels so good. Blame-junkies… is what we have become. That one moment of fading glimmer of superiority, that instant of sparkling purity where we feel whole because we have stolen another’s innocence.
We do not see the gaping wounds within ourselves that have us acting out like this. We do not hear our own scream for self-acceptance and for healing. We run from our traumas, we silence our inner child, and annihilate the mother within. We have no real respect for ourselves, and therefore none for the life of another. And all this… just because we are afraid to face ourselves. To be honest. To stand still and feel. We are so afraid that we would rather kill another than be vulnerable, than to feel our anger, our brokenness and fragile humanity, and to cry, to let down our walls and expose our raw flesh and aching soul to the mercy of the Universe.
We let our fears and anger at ourselves run our lives and have become slaves to our monumental distrust of ourselves, others, and God. In our confusion, we have lost perspective, honesty, humility, and the ability to see reality. What we believe we are seeing in another is fantasy and make believe. It is not there. It does not actually exist within us either – for neither are we guilty or less than. The Divine does not judge us. We are loved without condition. But in our panic to get rid of how we feel about ourselves, we are delusional. The karma is ours and so are the consequences of our actions. And yet, we believe that they belong to the one we have chosen to carry our burdens, and to despise instead of ourselves. And so, we believe that our “sins” are altogether theirs and we have been absolved by our own hands.
This vicious cycle that we have created binds no one but ourselves. The merry-go-round of shame has been passed from generation to generation and is what broke us as children. The fists and accusing voices of our parents that yelled, “You are not worthy”, “Shame on you”, “You will never amount to anything”. And smaller and smaller we became in the face of their rage. This is our dilemma, not the person we now condemn because they are different from us.
Our childhood trauma and abandonment, the hole inside of us that eats us up from the inside – that is our issue. The thrill of feeling better than someone else, taking our anger out on them – that will not soothe our woundedness, heal us and bring us peace. Killing someone else will not restore our life to us. It will only destroy us further, and them along with us.
If we could only find the courage to face ourselves, to have compassion for our wounded self, and to allow ourselves to feel the pain that we are in. If we could somehow find it in our hearts to forgive ourselves. To accept ourselves as we are, and even find the courage to ask for the help we need. Then we could simply heal and embrace the journey back to ourselves.
Make it a practice to allow your emotions to flow, and to feel them and observe. Develop a level of honesty and a nurturing compassion with yourself that allows you to process and heal every day as you go. Find the purity and innocence within that you didn’t know was there – for it is indeed there, underneath every layer of denial and belief in your own unworthiness. Rise and touch your own divinity. Awaken and leave the game. And embrace yourself with such a measure of acceptance that your inner child finds the nurturing parent within that you never had growing up.
Stop judging yourself and learn to trust and believe in yourself again. Respect yourself. Free yourself from what you were taught by every institution in your life, and leave behind what was projected onto you by people who didn’t know any better, because that was how they, too, were raised. Break the cycle once and for all, for yourself, for those who have gone before, and for those yet unborn. Take responsibility for your own thoughts, behaviors, and actions.
The pendulum has swung so far to the extreme that we have almost destroyed our planet and each other. We are way past the eleventh hour, and we must awaken now. Instead of tearing each other down, we must now join each other on our healing journeys and provide support as we work through similar issues. We must learn to live from the heart and let our wounds become our assets and teachers. The “enemy’s” humanity, their struggles, and their suffering mirror ours. Their hopes and dreams are not that different from ours, and we have so much more in common than we thought. We must embrace the glowing beauty and deep woundedness of our humanity so boldly that our evolution touches the hearts of all who struggle just as we do. Through one moment of total courage, we can shift everything – for ourselves, those around us, and the Human Collective. We have that power, and no one else can do this for us. We must be brave and let go of our wounded pride.
Don’t beat yourself up for what you didn’t know better in the past. But in the present, in this moment, do the next right thing. Be authentic and give freedom as much as you want to be free. Stop controlling life. And stop playing god… because you feel a bit uncertain about yourself. Breathe. You will be okay. We all go through this, and no one is above the need to heal their darkness. Trust.
The future lies in your hands. The choice is yours, and yours alone. Will you widen the gap and deepen the pain, or will you heal and through your healing and wholeness show humanity a new way to live, a new way to be? There is indeed hope for this world, and you are it…
Neha