Most of us are able to see how deeply self-centered just about everyone on this planet is. In our survival mode, we withdrew so far into ourselves, and away from the expansiveness and wisdom of our spirit self that our focus usually revolves only around ourselves and our immediate surroundings. A closed system onto itself, and locked into a linear 3D perception, the comprehension of ‘other’ does not occur, whether it be of the consciousness of people, plants, animals, or the spirits that are all around us in the etheric.
We have cut ourselves off from relating in a natural and intimate way with all the Life that is around us, feeling so thoroughly separate that we are more or less oblivious to the effects that our actions and behavior have on those around us. When we think of others, it is usually only how they relate to us and what it means for us. This is not only the case in what we see playing out on the global stage, but affects those of us on a spiritual or awakening journey all the same, though it may play out in more subtle ways for us.
Our thought process simply does not include awareness of the web of relationships that we are a part of. We act, all the same, as if the world was our stage and everyone and everything in it merely animated props – for us to use as we see fit – instead relating to the very real consciousness and tender heartbeat of living, feeling, breathing beings.
Our perceptual division lines hurt us more than we can possibly imagine. We have turned away from being able to see that the trees, birds, and bees are conscious beings with a life worth living, as much as our appointed enemies in human form. We objectify that for which we have lost understanding, love, and compassion. We all do it. In our judgement, we detach so far that we remove our empathy. We have closed our hearts, not only to ‘them’, but also to ourselves. And we have excluded all relations with Life from our tight little worlds. No wonder that most of humanity is suffering from some form of depression, hopelessness, and devastating sense of aloneness. Being that closed down, we cannot possibly find our peace and happiness, and quick fixes and superficial instant gratification cannot fill the aching hole inside of us.
We shut down towards ourselves when the heavy traumas occurred in our lives and trust was broken. Our survival mechanisms kicked in, and we lost awareness of our precious place in the Universe, and how deeply cared for and loved we are. We automatically felt abandoned by God when the humans around us abandoned us. We projected all kinds of hurt and anger onto everything around us, numbing ourselves to their loving presence. And this is the state of mind that most everyone on this planet still lives within, spiritual or not.
We still have incredible difficulty actually trusting the divine Mother and Father, and still try to control every aspect of our lives. We still don’t trust and believe in ourselves, or even like ourselves. We may have sat at the feet of ‘masters’ for years, done yoga, reiki, and channelings, and know all the concepts, but we still cannot relate to ourselves. We still get anxious when we have time by ourselves with no distractions. And we still live in a bubble that only includes ourselves. Most of us feel so much more lost than we would ever be able to express. And we are good at muddling through, hiding our emotional states, and making it all look lovey-dovey on the surface.
The spiritual self-love movement is not meant to justify our self-absorbedness and drive us deeper into the illusions we have created. If we don’t work on honestly, accountability, being grounded in reality, and opening our hearts, we are merely enabling and reinforcing our survival mechanisms, and going nowhere, while deluding ourselves into believing that the world owes us. We deserve so much more, while we settle for so little and pretend to be fine. Our inner restlessness, tense bodies, and agitated nervous systems speak for themselves.
We have been looking outside of ourselves for solutions, and have been in survival mode for so long that we actually have forgotten how to live – to be fully present and in a deeply loving connectedness with ourselves and all that is around us. To live with an open heart and healthy boundaries at the same time. To be touched by the bird on our windowsill who came to bring us its song. To see that the neighbor whom no one likes just looked to us for a kind word in passing by…
It is indeed a gift to see beyond our own horizons and be able to put ourselves into the proverbial shoes of others – to see what our way of relating does to them, how it affects them in reality, not just in our own heads. To step aside from relating everything just to ourselves and our perceived needs and desires. To see that a friend may have rearranged their whole day to meet with us and the least we could do is show up on time, or that they are at a breaking point and may have a burning need to talk – more than we do – and that we have the option to just listen to them and give support.
There is such beauty in being able to step back and become the observer – of our own selves and all our relations, to allow some breathing room and space so that everything can show us what they are, rather than us already having all our answers, judgments, and opinions before even having opened our hearts and eyes.
We live in a highly conscious, intelligent, emotional Universe, inside a web of connections, relationships, and non-verbal communications. We are by no means separate from any part of it – not the person across the street that annoys us, nor the trees in our yard, or the ground we walk upon, nor our guides in the spirit world. Every lifeform is indeed sacred and deserves our utmost respect.
If we listen with our hearts, we will know what kind of connecting – in the greater context – is appropriate for us at a given time. With awareness, we have choice, and we can do whatever is called for in a situation. We can remain in touch with our intuition and set healthy boundaries where needed. We can relax, and start trusting ourselves and our divine spirit to know what to do in the next moment of not knowing, as we step out of the comfort-zone of our self-centered cocoon, and into the life that has been waiting for us to come out and play.
Neha